It's not getting any easier
by woobloo97
Summary: A future fic with different POVs.
1. Robin

A/N: Robin drabble. I meant to put in Barney's POV too but it got too long. But if people like this I'll write Barney. I have a couple of other ideas too but not sure if this is going to turn into a multichaptered fic or they'll go in a new story. Sorry for the angst, I was feeling dramatic. :) And I just KNOW someone has used this title before but I can't think who, so if it's you I apologize. It's rather unoriginal and not very good, but please review anyway! :)

* * *

It's not getting any easier.

* * *

Robin thought it might have. She was being naive of course. She had thought that it might get easier every day, watching her ex with another woman. (Bitch.) Of course, when Barney gets serious and moves in with another woman for the first time since The Incident last fall- of course that was going to hurt. So she watched him, sitting and talking about how he was so in love and how amazing Quinn was, and she gripped the glass of scotch in her hand and waited.

* * *

She thought it might get easier after the engagement. After that horrible feeling passed, that feeling of I'm-gonna-cry-I'm-gonna-scream-I'm-gonna-shoot-something-I'm-gonna-shoot-some-stripper-bitch, and she was sitting on the floor of the shooting range pondering her fate, she thought that just maybe it would be easier now. Now that she knew Barney (ugh, it hurt even to think his name (crap)) was absolutely positively never ever never in the whole wide world of possibility never ever never never going to be hers- Damn it. But anyway, maybe she could move on. She considered this. She had been trying to do just that since- oh God, since she met him really. Since she had watched him across the bar that night and thought how good looking he was and what fun it would be to really spend time with him. Since he had tapped her on her shoulder and sent chills down her spine. But then Fate intervened, as Ted would say, and sent her on the path that led here, to the cold hard floor, with a gun in one hand and a drink in the other (she couldn't help but smile at her dramatic tone, somewhere between Soap Opera and Ted's Life). And then she was wandering down memory lane, to all of the good times and the bad, and the question of moving on didn't come up again, at least, not until the next night, and Barney and Quinn's engagement celebrations at MacLaren's, and she questioned whether she would ever be able to bear it.

* * *

She had thought that maybe it would hurt a little less when her method of ten thousand drinks failed (but then again, it had failed a long time ago with regards to Barney) and she threw herself into other methods of making herself move on. She had asked the gang for advice (but NEVER EVER mentioning Barney or anything to DO with him! She made sure of that!). Marshall had advised her to go Sasquatch hunting, or perhaps WWN would let her do a report on the Loch Ness monster. She had thought that he had had more helpful things to say, but he was distracted by a reverie on the glories of the unknown. Ted gave her a long lecture on how she would someday become the warm, wonderful woman that he had always dreamed of as soon as she found the One. This only made things worse because it just reminded her of the fact that Barney was the only one who had understood that maybe she didn't want to be that person. Lily said perhaps the least helpful thing of all: that she just needed time. So she chose the method of the person she least wanted to be thinking about right now; she threw herself into the dating scene.

* * *

She had thought that this would make it heal; this string of one-night stands, the plays, the flirtatious "Call me!" when she had given a fake phone number, the constant sex. She had thought that becoming inhuman for a while would make it hurt less; would make her put up those barriers that she had spent years creating around her heart and that only one person had ever taken down. She had thought that this might be the way to stem the tide of pain that she felt when she heard Barney ask Ted to be his best man; when she saw Quinn, beaming, on Barney's arm. But, after a month, she woke up in the twenty-sixth man's bed, crawled out the window, and realized that this hollow feeling wasn't getting any better, and that maybe she should find her Quinn, and that maybe that would be the way to get over him.

* * *

She had definitely thought that it would get better when she ran into Tom, and when he asked her out. He was good looking, and charming, and the perfect man. He was practical and sensible but still adored her; Marshall and Lily loved him; and he was okay with the whole kids thing. Plus, if you were looking at it from a Teddish point of view, the whole thing with her running into him those two times before would be a fun story to tell several years down the road. The sex was fine, and Tom was a good learner, always a plus in a long term relationship. She was spurred to greater heights by the nauseating things Quinn and Barney were doing, coupley things, things she never thought she'd see the legendary Mr. Stinson do. And when they set a date, Robin and Tom moved in together. They had been dating for a month and a half.

* * *

She certainly thought that the last semblance of any kind of pain would be gone forever when Barney and Quinn broke it off a month before the wedding, and when she no longer had to watch him sitting next to that blonde minx in the seat that had once been hers, and when Barney was back to his old, womanizing, laser-tag playing self (At the time of Barney's break up, he hadn't been out to play laser tag in five months- Robin was horrified to learn this fact but stopped herself from commiserating with him by the pressure of Tom's hand on her own.) She thought that now everything was right; she was in a functioning, normal relationship with a great guy, and Barney was a womanizing idiot, and Ted was Ted and Marshall and Lily were Marshall and Lily and the universe had aligned.

* * *

But it isn't getting any easier, and it hurts to think that if she had only said yes in November, that they maybe, just maybe, could have been something awesome. But she's scared, because he makes her so vulnerable, and if there's one thing Robin Scherbatsky isn't it's vulnerable. So, she doesn't question her relationship with Tom, and she doesn't go all touchy-feely and introspective about why it still makes her hurt so very, very much when he doesn't come and talk to her the way he used to, and why there's that sharp ache whenever he leaves the bar with one of his one-night bimbos. Time is supposed to heal all things, but time isn't making this any easier, and Robin thinks that just maybe she'll never be anything but head over heels in love with Barney Stinson.


	2. Barney

A/N: I might add onto this, I have two ideas about where it could go. If you like or dislike the current writing style please let me know so I can make my decision about which way it's going to go. Thanks! :)

* * *

This isn't right.

* * *

Of course it isn't. Barney knew that from the start, knew that when he tracked Quinn down, knew that when she met him in the coffee shop and agreed to buy him coffee. For starters, Quinn was kind of a bitch. She was hot and sparky but- she wasn't that nice. At all. He had known a LOT of strippers, of course, but none had ever ripped him off quite this badly. Although of course he had always been on the alert for it before. Aaah, yes, Karma was a bitch. Pun intended.

* * *

Barney knew all of this, and yet he ignored it. He knew that this would probably come back to bite him in the ass at some point, and yet at this point he didn't care. He didn't think that the Barnacle had ever been this depressed, not even when that superbitch Shannon had dumped him. So he moves in with Quinn to take his mind off of things- and Quinn did give him things to think about- like consistent sex without having to work for it. Or the fact that he really tries with a girl for once and she won't even quit her job, which happens to be getting naked for other men. Oh yes, Karma is indeed a bitch. She's also kind of funny, or at least entertaining, the things she does, and she seems to care about him, and he could really use some affection right now. And not necessarily the dirty kind. She may be a bitch but she still is a human being, who is living with him and is having pretty good sex with him and playing tricks on people. She's not the worst really, and he does care about her, he tells himself. Somewhat.

* * *

But he really knows this is wrong when he decides to propose to her, seeing as he's desperately in love with someone else (he should call Robin. They haven't been on the same page lately. He misses her... but then he drops the phone like a hot potato when Quinn comes into the room. He's TOTALLY in love with Quinn, he says to himself, ignoring the fact that he was just thinking about how in love he was with his Canadian best friend, and lugs the suitcases out the door.) He's thought of the most elaborate proposal, just to give himself something to do, so he doesn't have to say much. Then she'll say no and he'll be rid of her forever. Or she'll say yes and they'll live happily ever after. Either way he'll be fine. No he won't, if she says no- nah, he can't even finish the sentence, he thinks, looking around at the Hello Kitty hell his once-awesome bachelor pad now is. But since he wants to love her so terribly (it'd be so much easier this way!) he resolves to hope she says yes. And since he's gotten so good at acting over the years, especially at faking his way through something (but he doesn't want to talk about work) he pulls it off, and she says yes, and they ride off into the sunset. God, when did his life turn into a Ted style fairytale. He's never wanted this.

* * *

He does feel horrible after he and Quinn go home that night, after they first get engaged, and all he can think about is Robin. After all, she gave up her job for him. He was genuinely touched by that. He thinks for the first time that she actually might be really, truly in love with him, and he wants that so badly that for the first time they spoon after sex, him burying his face in her hair and wishing so desperately that he loved her even enough to just be HAPPY for God's sake.

* * *

He realizes afterward that she doesn't love him, of course, when she starts acting distant a week or two after the engagement, only talking to him to ask for money and such. He knows then that she really was a gold digger, but he can't bring himself to face it, so when they go down to the bar that night he clutches Quinn to him and beams like he's the happiest man in the world. Which of course he is, really.

* * *

But he really only realizes how truly wrong this is when Robin brings a new boyfriend into the bar, "Tom" (ugh), who clearly adores her and can give her a functioning relationship. HE won't throw a fit because she washed his tie; she won't find an old bag of panties in HIS closet (and he'd thrown out most of that crap anyway, because it was ROBIN, and so sue him if he didn't notice one bag in the corner- you know what, forget it. He deserved that fight like he deserved all the others.) And he watches her and the fact that he can't make dirty jokes anymore with her, can't laugh at her Canadian-ness (Tom doesn't do that; maybe that's why she likes him? No, she knew it was joking, he's sure of it. But what if it wasn't? Oh, God, he's so insecure around her... he used to be able to read her so well...) And Barney realizes that he'll never love Quinn, not just not love her the way Marshall loves Lily or Robin loves this Tom guy (son of a bitch), but he'll never love her at all. Because she's not Robin, and there'll never be another Robin, and he's never really loved anyone but her (he almost breaks down in tears at this point, but then he reminds himself to stop being sad and be awesome instead. And of course that works, because when has it NOT worked?) But he makes himself look at Quinn and smile. One moment at a time. He can do this (maybe). Karma is SUCH a bitch. God, he should make that his new catchphrase, because "legendary" won't work anymore... He was just feeling morose, he told himself (when did he turn into such a Ted?) and swallowed his scotch in two swallows.

* * *

He can't do it, can't break up with Quinn, because he totally deserves this fate, and besides Robin is with Tom now and Tom's awesome (Tom sucks) and his mind babbles like this for the next two months. Meanwhile, the wedding is going full speed ahead and he's just along for the ride. Quinn chooses who's coming, when it's going to be, etc. etc. He starts spending most of his nights at home watching stupid TV shows. Quinn won't let him go to the cigar bar or play laser tag. They'd had a very solemn talk about it one night. He remembers her saying something like, "You swore you changed and you wanted a different lifestyle" blah blah blah, and he just agrees to get her to shut up, and he dies a little inside with every word she says. (He knows he's being dramatic but he just doesn't care.)

* * *

And then there was the night, when Quinn sat down and said very quietly that this is wrong, and she just isn't feeling that this is the way it should be, and she tells him that she likes him okay but was just marrying him because he was comfortable and rich but then she realized that she wasn't happy and she knows he's totally in love with her blah blah blah and he can't even listen when she's saying the second most wonderful words he could hear right now, but he assures her he'll be okay, and he smiles at her and she smiles at him and for a second he wishes that this could work because she is like him. But that isn't good enough, of course. And so they actually split amicably and there isn't much heartbreak at all because Quinn could never hurt him.

* * *

But then Robin barely reacts to the news, not even when he's practically begging for sympathy by telling about all the things he hasn't done for months- "I haven't played laser tag, or gone to the cigar bar, or done anything legendary or awesome"- she just squeezes Tom's hand and looks at him adoringly. So he goes and does the one thing he didn't really miss; he hits on bimbos for the rest of the night. And the next. And the next. And Ted's right, this is fate, because there's nothing he can do- he tried- this is how he'll spend the rest of his life. But he stares at Robin when she isn't looking, because this is part of him too, his love for her, and maybe she'll never love him but he'll always, always love her.


	3. Marshall

A/N: This is really just a short little pointless chapter. I'm not sure how much I like my Marshall, but let me know what you think!

Maybe Lilypad was right.

* * *

He really hadn't given it much thought before. Ted was his best friend after all, and sure, Barney was his friend too, but if he had to choose... well, there wouldn't be much choice at all. And besides, it was BARNEY. So when Lily came home, in fall of 2008, and blurted out to him that Barney was in love with Robin, he had laughed, because the whole idea was just ridiculous, wasn't it? Eventually he came around to the idea- Lily could be very persuasive (a combination of bribes and threats)- and so he was able to reassure Barney when that whole thing with the assistant happened. Poor guy.

* * *

But he'd always assumed deep down that it was just a phase. After all, it was Barney, and Robin was Robin and Ted was clearly hung up on Robin and Ted was Ted and that's about as far as it went. He didn't really analyze it. After Punchy's wedding, Lily came home and they had been falling asleep after some truly wonderful "we're going to have a baby and I'm so freaking happy" sex (number fifty-seven on Lily's list of reasons). As they were curled up together, Lily murmured in his ear. "Robin's in love with Barney, baby. Did you know that?" That woke him up. Sort of. They had discussed it for a little while longer, and Marshall's initial shock faded to a feeling that Lilypad was overreacting. Because Robin had never come out and said it, had she?

* * *

And yes, he was still betting on Ted and Robin. Because how could Robin not want Ted, who was so in love with her and such a great guy? Ted was his best friend, and if there was one thing they shared, it was their belief in fate. Maybe it took different tracks sometimes; Ted's "One" was the primary focus, whereas Marshall tended towards the monsters of the Great Unknown; but fundamentally it was the same. And that meant that deep down they both believed that Robin and Ted were meant to be. Lily disagreed, and it was one of the things that they debated over the most (okay, maybe not the MOST- there was the existence of aliens. And the merits of Gouda. And whose turn it was to get up in the middle of the night (that was a new one.) And...) Well. Anyway. There was no reason to think any other way. Barney was happy with Quinn, and they were perfect for each other. (He thought for a minute how quickly he'd gone from hate to love for Quarney, as he'd taken to calling them in his head.)

* * *

But Lily insisted everything was wrong. Barney wasn't in love with Quinn, she said, and Robin wasn't happy, and everything was just- not right. Lilypad was usually right, but she couldn't be right about this- could she?

* * *

He was starting to think she could.

* * *

He wasn't sure when he came around to her theory. Maybe it was the conversation Lily overheard while listening to Barney and Robin's conversation after Quinn and Barney got engaged. (He had been too engrossed in diaper and diamond rings to be paying attention.) Maybe it was when he caught Barney with one of Robin's earrings in his wallet. Maybe it was when Robin moved in with Tom because Barney sent out wedding invitations. (It was pretty obvious, looking back on it- Lily had to explain the significance to him, but he wasn't sure how he missed it. Robin had been over, visiting Marvin, and Robin was telling Lily how Tom had been talking about getting serious, and how she wasn't sure. Lily 'happened' to mention that Barney had set a date. Robin let out a squeak, and said "I'm gonna ask Tom to move in with me.") Maybe it was hearing Barney mutter to himself, "I'm in love with you, Robin."

* * *

Okay, so maybe it was obvious. Lilypad was clearly right. Ah well, those kids could work it out themselves. Marshall was a daddy now, and had bigger and better things to attend to. Sweeping declaration- never debating Barney and Robin with Lily again.

* * *

It was all they talked about that night.


	4. Lily

A/N: _Very_ short little chapter- I'm thinking I'll write Ted, and then just maybe this'll actually start having a plot. (Don't get your hopes up. (: ) Also from now into the foreseeable future I'm really freaking busy so don't expect frequent updates, although I wish I could. And thank you so much to everyone who's following, has favorited, or reviewed this story! It makes me so happy! (Please keep doing so... seriously, makes my day)

Lily doesn't know what to say now.

* * *

Because she's always believed in love, trusted it- even when she ran out on Marshall right before their wedding she never doubted they'd end up together in the end, after she sorted her shit out. Because love was like that, and fairy tales definitely have their good points.

* * *

But now, watching Barney with Quinn, it's like a fairy tale viewed through a circus mirror, and as she's told Marshall so many times, something just isn't right. It just _isn't_, and she doesn't know why, but she still gets that crawly feeling in her stomach whenever Barney and Robin sit together in a booth (elbows firmly pressed into their sides, determinedly not touching) and she just knows they belong together.

* * *

Barney does seem happy with Quinn, and she admits they're kind of cute together when her husband presses her. She still listens at the door, though, while Quinn is telling an enraptured Marshall about Barney's proposal, and Barney and Robin don't disappoint. (Seriously? Joking about _running away together_ after Barney gets engaged to another woman? That's bad even for them.)

* * *

And then Robin meets Tom, and he's amazing (he's HOT- Lily feels like a school girl) and she starts thinking it isn't going to happen. But that feeling won't go away, and that feeling has never been wrong, and besides she has a bet to win, and so she keeps hoping.

* * *

She makes a few feeble attempts to break them up, and she debates it fiercely with Marshall, but she doesn't go beyond that. When Quinn decides to leave Barney, surprisingly, Lily had nothing to do with it. It doesn't escape her how Barney looks only at Robin when he's telling them, and how Robin looks determinedly away from him. She takes a swig of beer in frustration, then remembers that she was supposed to be back upstairs fifteen minutes ago and Marshall's gonna be _pissed._

* * *

She had meant it, way back when, when she swore that she was out of the break up business for good. She still sometimes felt terrible about it. Not too terrible- that would imply regret- but she had learned her lesson, sort of. She remembers sometimes her behavior towards Barney and Robin back then, and wonders if she'd been nicer- less controlling, maybe- wonders if things would have gone differently. She doubts it, but still. Back then she hadn't had the feeling about them. (Back then, she tells herself, they hadn't really belonged together anyway.)

* * *

But she really doesn't want to interfere this time. Marshmallow says- and he's probably right (this time)- that it'll just make things worse. And yet- she's _Lily_, and she has to interfere. It's what she does. But she can't. But she wants to! But she can't. She has to do _something_.

* * *

But she doesn't know what. She doesn't know what to say, to do, what in the world will make these two stubborn donkeys realize that they belong together, Goddammit.


End file.
